If I seem divided in the title of the article it’s because I am. Don’t get me wrong, I love the concept of porn, I think it’s a great tool to get juices flowing, to feed our erotic imagination and to fuel our fantasies.

My problem is with the kind of porn that is available out there. It’s all the same! All the porn stars look the same, have the same look, act the same and engage in the same activities over and over. Not only that but they are engaging in unsafe, unsanitary activities and deriving unrealistic pleasure from those activities. But who cares right? Isn’t the whole point of it that it’s a fantasy?

The thing is for most people, okay lets be honest here, for most men, porn is the only “sex education” they get. From late teens to first sexual experiences the only sex we ever really see in graphic details is from porn. And since sex in porn is far from realistic it set unrealistic expectations. There should be a disclaimer before each video “Warning: women don’t orgasm the minute you put your penis in their vagina”, “Warning: the mean size of the male penis is 4.23  to 7.53 inches”. All the porn watching imprints itself in our brains and leads to people to thinking that this is what sex SHOULD be like.

One last thing. We as a society, are becoming more and more aware of the impact our consumption has on people and the environment with things like fair trade coffees, and encouraging companies that pay fair wages to it’s employees. Why not be that conscious for porn? Why not encourage small companies who pay their porn stars fairly and don’t take advantage of it’s employees J

So in the end I don’t hate porn, I hate the type of porn that is easily available. Mainstream porn’s monolithic ideal of what is sexy, sexual, and satisfying is a disservice to it’s audience in the end. So don’t be a lemming, become more critical of the porn you consume, reprogram your brain to have more realistic expectations of sex and arousal and I can promise it will impact your sex life in a positive way.

Here are a few places to start with:

http://www.kink.com/ (outtakes at the end of the girls having the best time ever)

http://www.abbywinters.com/portal/

http://www.fatalemedia.com/ (distributor of quality DVD)

http://www.puckerup.com

Enjoy!

~Maryline